What isn't to love about Dan Savage? For those of you who have been living under a rock, Savage is an openly gay syndicated sex columnist who is the founder of the It Gets Better Project (See Google Chrome commercial featuring the It Gets Better Project here). He is known for his frank discussions of sexual topics, as well as his harsh criticism of the Religious Right. His column (and podcast "Savage Love") is both informative and hilarious, and I definitely recommend it to any open-minded people.
When I discovered that Savage has written several books I knew I had to pick one up. As The Kid was originally published in 1999, it was a little difficult to locate a copy in bookstores and I had to resort to downloading an e-book copy for my iPad. Despite the difficulties in searching for the book, it was well worth it. The Kid is a humorous memoir that describes Savage's turbulent process in adopting a child with his boyfriend. While the premise may suggest that the book will be sappy, it actually presents Savage's trademark cynical nature.
Savage is very practical in his explanation for why they decided to adopt. He doesn't resort to bullshit. He tells of his concerns about needing hobbies with his boyfriend as they grow older and describes his worries of not having an excuse if he should ever get fat. He doesn't resort to cheesey sentimentalities. Savage and his boyfriend eventually decide to go for an open adoption, a type of adoption that is only legal in certain states.
Open adoptions are unique in that they allow the birth parents to have some degree of contact with their biological children throughout their lives. This gives the birth parents the reassurance that the child they handed over is being well taken care of. Savage makes a pretty good case for this type of adoption in his book, describing the unfair turmoil parents would have to go through if they never knew what happened to their child. When Savage and his boyfriend are matched up with a birth mother, they discover that she is a homeless "gutter-punk." Their culture clash creates some hilarity, and Savage and his boyfriend end up sticking with this girl because they fear other birth mothers won't choose gay male parents.
Throughout the book, Savage inserts his opinions on subjects ranging from gay parenting, politics, child custody, and the adoption process mixed in with his memories of adopting their son. He includes his trademark witticisms and brings up many valid points. For example, his view for the reason gay sons often have distant relationships with their heterosexual fathers really resonated with me. Some Evangelicals believe that distant fathers create homosexuality in their sons by giving them an unfulfilled longing for same-sex intimacy. As Savage points out, these distant relationships don't make sons gay, they happen because the sons are gay and macho heterosexual men who have been conditioned to reject anything feminine don't know how to handle it.
I will admit that this book isn't a very difficult read. Dan Savage is not the new Mark Twain. However, his hysterical delivery of what would normally be very difficult topics to write about makes for a good page-turner. The thing that really shines through in the end of this book is the love that Savage has for his son. While he is normally crass and cynical, he has his moments where you can tell he really has a good heart (once again, see the It Gets Better Project). Because Savage doesn't always show his true colors, the moments when he is sentimental make them much more meaningful. In short, I loved this book.
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